Anandi

It was a hot afternoon in Mumbai, the kind of hot that has sweat running in rivulets and annoyance in truckloads.  The fact that the agent ( I am house hunting) had made me wait there for over 15 minutes didn't help. I  stood and watched and  from time to time looked up in the direction I thought the agent would come from, Since I was new to this area.

As I stood there being annoyed and also looking for more reasons to justify it.. a little girl of about 8 , dusky clear complexion, sun bleached hair parted neatly  in the middle and tied into a pony, wearing a green skirt and matching top, crossed the street to my side and began picking random bits of paper . She was a rag picker .. I watch her ..with this white bag, more than half her size and certainly not empty, slung on her thin shoulders like Santa Claus and yet.. she had a rhythm in her movements as she deftly “fished” a stray piece of paper and put it in her Santa Claus bag..

She passed me by ..and our eyes met.. briefly.. I didn't smile.. I was just ..well...indifferent. She didn't smile either… she went ahead and suddenly stopped and looked back straight at me.. and we held the gaze for 3-4 seconds and then she initiated the smile…a dazzling radiant smile. It was like she was ascertaining if she could trust me ..and had decided she could., all in 3 seconds. Having now decided .. she retraced her steps and walked up to me.. I was beginning  to be slightly curious and less irritable..

She came and stood a couple of feet  away from me ..and asked, in that non presumption direct tone, that only kids can,  “what was I doing here” in Hindi.. I smiled., an amused smile,  again remembering , what was I doing here…waiting for the agent I said.. pause…for the last 25 minutes(I emphasised – complaining tone and all) ..

It crossed  my mind that she may not know what agent meant – but I wasn’t in a mood for conversation – and wanted to stay irritable – “Oh”,  she  replied. – paused and looked like she was thinking  - I waited - then she went on to tell me that she didn't have a house , they lived on a street near by – and that she earned money by picking rags.

I was a little taken aback - did she understand that implication of what waiting to meet an agent meant? That I was looking for a house and she told me her reality?? It was possible - she had that wise street intelligence– I was now fully engaged in this conversation.

She was not done.. she stood there ..Waiting for more conversation, creating a broad groove in the invisible sand on the pavement with her bare foot.

So, I asked her  name , “Anandi” she said – The foot stopped and the smile came again.. wider this time - she liked her name, I could tell…. She asked me mine – “Rhea” - I told her – She smiled and said that It was beautiful name – I smiled – wide  (I also like my name) - I told her I liked her name as well, and that one of my friends name was Anandi also – She looked up, almost choosing to not register this -  and asked – "do you know what my name means?  - I was about to answer , but saw that she really wasn’t asking ..but waiting to tell me.. so I said no, I din't know.  - and then, just as I had suspected -  she launched into a very proud rendition of “Anandi” – one who is always happy – I was now genuinely in the conversation and watching Anandi talk and live the meaning of her name... I watched with rapt wonderment, how Anandi was creating her own reality of choosing happiness along with all the other facts of her life...everything else around me melted into silent oblivion...  Her grandma who lived in Hyderabad had named her she ended – slightly out of breath.

About 4  minutes of lessons on Anandi by Anandi.. My agent showed up.. and I was once again reminded of why really I was there – She saw him – and I saw a glimmer of disappointment in her brown eyes – It passed quickly – she looked at me with a goodbye – I didn’t want to go. I offered her the strawberries I had in my bag, in a feeble attempt to stretch this encounter – she took them  - smiled and said,  “we will talk later”  - and she walked off, while I was still deciding whether to leave her or not. She looked back once again and waved – I waived back – and my new found friend, who , I will talk to later, when and how I have no clue– walked away leaving a piece of her ”happiness” with me.

It struck me, how little it took to connect and share – and how often conversations happened from behind a laptop or a phone screen – or while flipping TV channels – and what must it to do our hearts – not really connecting as people who have no other motive. The Joy and wonder of an honest interest in another human being and being fully present in that moment...and most importantly choosing happiness. I was reminded of the lines by Khalil Gibran, "We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them" - Anandi had certainly exhibited this truth.

I looked up at the scorching sun and the dripping sweat , the cacophony of traffic and the agent who was just standing there – and smiled – he must be having his own story – and a very valid reason to be late. After finding happiness -  connection and compassion from “Anandi”  - I went off on my search.



Entropy and Interconnectedness


Over the last 2 decades, having observed, sometimes too closely, humans  - systems – and the interaction between them. I have been very intrigued by the singular and homogenous behaviour patterns of people. Of people as singular entities and people as a homogenous group in a system, community – team.   Read ‘group’.
Something strange happens, when you meet people as individuals, their thoughts, feelings, expressions, convictions are different than, when they are  in a group… my initial, almost primitive conclusion was  - acceptance by a group – being liked and respected etc. and while all this might be true…and obviously recognisable by the “subjects” – it still continues to happen. Even when it is not desired or intended.

In my quest to find another way to look at this – the whys -the whats - the hows...
I stumbled upon the role of “Entropy” in thermodynamics – the study of matter – heat and energy. Very safely one can apply ALL these words  in context of humans and human behaviour.

Some of the interesting definitions of the word “Entropy”  are:
- A measure of the disorder or randomness in a closed system.
- A measure of the loss of information in a transmitted message.
-The tendency for all matter and energy in the universe to evolve toward a state of inert uniformity.
- Inevitable and steady deterioration of a system or society.

The Last definition is what got me hooked.....

And in my quest to “finding in translation” – I began to see a pattern

And what inarguably works for thermodynamics ..must also works for living systems and people.  – At least that is a hypothesis.

So, if

The second law of thermodynamics asserts the irreversibility of natural processes, and the tendency of natural processes to lead towards spatial homogeneity (uniform composition of space – read “Uniformity – equality – fairness ” in the way nature works). Toward  thermodynamic equilibrium.

It is important at this point to understand what  “Equilibrium” means  - It means a state of balance. In a state of thermodynamic equilibrium, there are no net flows of energy and no unbalanced potentials (or driving forces), within the system. A system that is in thermodynamic equilibrium experiences no changes when it is isolated from its surroundings… there is no such thing as “alone” or independent. (hence  - no need for “acceptance” by the ‘other’ – it is an Intrinsic connectedness as a FACT)

It can be formulated in a variety of interesting and important ways.

When two initially isolated systems in separate but nearby regions of space, each in thermodynamic equilibrium in itself but not necessarily with each other, are then allowed to interact, they will eventually reach a mutual thermodynamic equilibrium.

AND

The sum of the entropies of the initially isolated systems is less than or equal to the total entropy of the final combination. Equality occurs just when the two original systems have all their respective intensive variables equal; then the final system also has the same values.

What this means in simple language is - when two or more  entities, people (group), are in complete “equilibrium” in and by themselves, when they come together – interact – they will eventually reach  mutual equilibrium.

And in this state of “Mutual Balance” - The inevitable - “Entropies”, the degree of disorder in the team, will be equal to or less than the sum of their individual entropies…

The opposite of this is also true. When the “individuals” have not reached an inner equilibrium – the entropies will be amplified – leaving the “System” inundated.

Well this answered many of my questions about systems not functioning to their potential…and what needs to be done. All natural processes are irreversible. Reversible processes are a convenient theoretical fiction and do not occur in nature. J

So much to learn from Nature.


Do we need a case for the relationship between -  “Inner work” - growth - Interdependence – Collaboration and Fractal Patterns?

Rhea










Story and Truth



Once upon a time there were two little girls who were best friends. They did everything together and were always there for each other. One girl's name was Story and the other one was called Truth.

Years passed and these little girls grew up to be beautiful young women. And they were still quite close.
One day, as it often happens, shadows of ego crept into their friendship and the young women thought about playing a game to find out who was more popular of the two.

To settle this ‘fairly’ they decided that they will takes turns to walk to the end of the village and back. Whoever is able to attract and keep more people on the way is to be the winner.

Truth decides to go first. As she walks through the village few people come to see her, shy at first, and then they politely walk away. Some see her, make eye contact and then look away. Some just shake hands, and let her pass. By the time she reaches one end of the village Truth is very saddened by the dismal crowd. “I am surely going to lose this bet. So few people are interested in me..."

In a last bid to do whatever it takes, she decides to use her beauty and youth to her advantage. Since now she had to walk back, she decides to shed all her clothes hoping to attract more crowd. But, alas, as she starts walking people run away, they shut their windows, divert their paths, close the eyes of their children, scurry off in a hurry, and the village is pretty much deserted.

By the time Truth returns to the starting point where Story is waiting she is devastated and has given up

“You are clearly going to be the winner” she tells Story. “Look how few people came…" laments Truth.

Story comforts her and says that the game is not over yet and that she still has to walk.

So Story now starts her journey through the village. Many people, young and old, come and flock around her, excited and curious, and they slowly drift away, back to their old lives as usual. On her return journey, Story walks more slowly hoping to keep people with her but since many people have had an initial experience with her and think they now know her, they don’t turn up…
She does get more people to come, but not as many as she thought she would.

A thoughtful Story comes back to the starting point, where Truth is still upset, and quietly consoles her: ” See? Clearly you are more popular!”

Story then makes Truth understand, that is wasn’t that she was not popular or beautiful. It’s just that most people can’t face truth for long - and certainly not naked truth!

Similarly, many people are fascinated by Story, but without something to anchor them, the novelty quickly wears off.

Story then removes her beautiful colorful cloak made of stars and animals and trees and she wraps it around Truth and tells her that from now on the two of them will always be together. Because, by themselves, it is difficult for them to play their roles.

Henceforth, from that day on, where there truth there is a story - and where there is a story there is truth…

Sometimes wrapped in a beautiful colorful cloak - but we all know there is Truth inside.

Humour Listening


I Love laughing – and Here is an insight on one such laughter filled evening, when I was telling my favourite elephant and ant jokes.

In the middle of the jokes..when the line between who was telling the joke and who was laughing blurred…and there was spontaneous telling and laughing happening..

I had a sudden realization…

Here was a group of “intellectuals” wise people and accomplished in their own right..and a few of them downright “Rationalistic” …and yet

And yet…

ALL of them.. even the skeptic ..so called “Serious” ones..

Just sat up a little differently…paused… in their minds,, when someone mentioned they were about to tell a joke…

And this …”sudden” shift in their way of being.. intrigued me..even as I was in the midst of this madness..

What made them like that… open …curious.. listening…

And then on closer inspection of the “process” of their listening to the joke…… something  else opened up…

They had  dropped their “judgment”…completely…and without being consciously aware of it.

When joke started as …”There was once an Elephant and ant who were madly in love…”they just sat there and went…’”..yes….and then what happened…?”.curiosity ..wonder….acceptance

Not..

”what nonsense…. how can an elephant and ant fall in love..big small etc etc “ – logic ..reason….


And then the insight opened up

Access to Mindfulness and No Judgement was “Humour Listening”

Mindfulness is “Humour Listening” – It is like listening to the first two lines of a Joke. There is “No” judgement..and you are fully attentive and engaged… no logic..no reason.. Curiosity ….and just PURE acceptance..

Why ?
In anticipation of ..”Laughter”

To conclude – Mindfulness is listening to life as if, it is a joke..looking to laugh in the end.



Ice-Cream Bucket



9.15 p.m. ,  Malad link road, where the suburban  life has reached a crescendo of  frenzied activity – A thick flux of People, cars pretending that they are patient, young couples oblivious to the chaos, older men shaking their heads and wondering, ”when did this happen?” , dogs adamantly lying exactly where the cars will pass, working moms mentally switching gears to another role balancing vegetables, laptop and life in general, kids playing, and noveaux cyclists most without helmets (so what if it’s hot?) ..enjoying the city , of course not to miss the  willful walkers who are more avoiding walking over or into something than actually moving ahead.


I, well it’s a non working day for me; I was walking back after finishing about half dozen chores.

Intent on getting back home ..dying for a shower.. mentally already feeling dizzy with the heat and the general cacophony..gosh..I need some peace ..Also knowing that is going to be another 4 hours away....

On my way I cross gokul ice cream..and stop.. my son loves Ice cream. So I decide to pick some..My rational mind is screaming for me to just get home..and not do any more detours… But guess the heart is louder..so I buy…Four in the carry pack, after a bit of an argument, which really was my misdirected annoyance.

I leave the shop..with bags(plural, there were 3 in one hand) ..and the ice cream bucket in another, I walk with a determined stride. A few steps and some acceleration later..I almost bump (actually I bumped) into a lady possibly from Bihar ..judging from her well-fed frame ..the saree and the orange sindoor..

From one of the slums surrounding this area, I presume..I am too stunned to react.. but clearly not too stunned to have missed the details....But I am so tired that I don’t even judge. I just wait to move on… (it was really just a few seconds..but when you are waiting to get home..each second is like  a minute..)..But our Bihari lady is not really ready to move on..or move.

She just looks at me and the ice-cream bucket (it’s important that I use this description) and then looks at her bucket, which of course I notice for the first time..No points for guessing where she is headed with the small bucket..My peripheral vision now assisted by my olfactory senses.. and I realize ‘exactly’ where I am..In front  of the common toilet for the slum dwellers..

Our Bihari lady looks at me again …and with free hand on my shoulder in a warm friendly gesture, like we have always gone to the loo together..she starts laughing…a loud ..belly shaking laughter,oblivious to everything and everyone around..My stunned mind.. now alert ..gets her joke..she , had also for a split second ..possibly in her rush to get ‘there’ and back to her brood of 5-6 children..some I may have passed on the street playing .. and connected my Bucket  (ice cream ) to , yes , the loo… Like me , she too then took in the details..and then the humour of it all must have hit her ..and just link that without too much inhibition..she started laughing…

I started laughing with her as well…Then we looked at each other…she hugged me..and we went our ways…

As I was walking towards my building..I was still reeling with what had happened..a complete stranger..no words ..a  deep laugher..a fleeting moment of equality and connectedness …a warm embrace and life went on…

How little it  takes to be present to these moments of magic… to be present to people.. and little “humor moments of life”… how laughter really transcends EVERYTING and connects people..how a little warmth without judgment ..puts a spin to the everyday mundaneness and  chaos that is life, how underneath all the labels and judgments, educational , social background.. economic inequalities.. we really are same…


The irony is not lost to me

The ice-cream in my hand wasn’t the only thing that melted..that evening.


An Ode to the Bolero.