Nature Speak

Yesterday a crow came to my window sill..in the afternoon

And did its incessant cawing.. I was used to this ..’ they are building their nest above
my kitchen window..and I feel the female is pregnant..because her food routine ..and
likes- dislikes have changed..so. generally it’s an ask for food..or a complain about
the pigeons..

I pretend to ignore most days....

This time..somehow, its tone was different..it had a bit of shrill in it..and in more quick succession than usual..I found myself frowning…

Because of this..I got up to see what was up..

I saw it looking in a particular direction ..and stressfully screeching..

Crows ..although sometimes are annoying..I know are also..great protectors..and have
a very good “network” ..this crow call was being relayed..and other crows in other
building had also started to pickup this ..tone

So I tried to see what else was going on..

Following the line of vision of the crow..I saw there were 4-5 hawks circling..

This was also not an unusual sight....as there are two hawks generally in the area and
they ..are..’regulars’..generally peaceful co-existence..

This day these 4-5 were circling above a small ..forgotten playground inside our
building compound..I felt a bit of fear in my heart..

I felt compelled to go down to see what was going on..

As I approached the abandoned playground..a few cats..that had started to generally
hang around….were making all kinds of noises..and were running away from that spot..

Now something was really up..

The hair on the back of my neck stood up…

I cautiously went in the direction…a few days ago I saw a snake here..I though maybe
that was what was going on..

As I inched forward even as the hawks starts to screech…I saw ..almost camouflaged…
a peahen.. hurt and not really able to move… I had never seen a peahen so close..

She was big…and was whimpering..

I had heard peacocks a couple of days ago..but not seen..So I wrote off that feeling thinking..how can peacocks come here..It all now made sense.., the peacock must be
close-by..

I looked up…..there were more hawks now..and the crows had also gathered in more numbers making a noise.. warning… guarding…warding off… the hawks were about to
come in for the kill…

I had to act fast....

I quickly called our security people, and with their help picked her up and took her to
the gardener house..where she would be nursed till she could be on her own again…

The feeling of panic ...slowly subsided.. The cacophony had dropped many decibels..
and so I felt much better..safer, I realised my heart had been beating fast..

And I went home..shaken..grateful and .....also confused..

I reflected on a conflict that morning with someone over ..”words” and communication.
And how it was often so difficult to convey or understand what “words” meant” what
they intended to convey…and I for one feel quite inept at being able to find the right words..right tone..to say what I am feeling…

And yet, with this episode of birds ..communicating, looking out for each other..and
how ..one crow ..was not just one crow..it was an amazing unfolding ecosystem..if one followed it..and how no “words” were spoken but there was this ..undeniable
communication between us.. followed by action….and some resolution.

I am left amazed at the potential of deep intuitive listening and the inadequacy of
language as we know it. Also the importance of ..’listening to the whole ecosystem’ ..
not just one voice…

Sigh !!!!!!!

I am reminded of these lines from a hindi song from the movie Border..

Panchi chidiya pawan ke zhonke..koi sarahd na ..inhe rooke..
Socho tumne aur maine kya paya…insaan hoke.

(Translation)

These birds sparrows winds…no borders have ever stopped them
Just think. . what have you and I really achieved...by being Humans??

Dear god please make me a bird in my next life .

~ Rhea

Grief

Last week I read about an elephant who escaped a circus

and just rolled and played in the open snow near by

My heart broke..I cried. Thinking of what we have come to.

And just how simple acts of freedom are denied..everyday..unseen.

and how numb we have become.

What we don't see, we edit from our reality

What we edit from our reality, we don't talk to

What we don't talk to(not about), we don't understand

What we don't understand, we fear

What we fear, we avoid

What we avoid, we become immune to

What we become immune to

We destroy and kill..

Violence has many insidious forms.

Not having got attention

It dies.

A Silent death

But the screams can be felt by the soul.

As an acute sense of loss, a deep grief

A loneliness that is present at all times.

With the death of the last species of dragonfly

The world becomes silent by a flutter

And we shudder involuntarily.

When we see the fires burning a forest

Animals dying, people divided

Children not knowing what ‘safe’ means

We gulp the unshed tear...unconsciously.

And we release that

The silences we hold back, are reverberated outside

Some part of the pain, that fire, the death,

the fear, the helplessness, the grief

Belongs to us.

It’s time we own it, and give it voice.

As an ultimate act of taking responsibility.

And atleast attempt to pay some debt back to this Earth

Rhea

Little Prince

“When a mystery is too overpowering, one may not disobey.” - Little Prince 

Yesterday our building had the passage on each floor fumigated. They bring this white smoke gun and fire it everywhere...a strong gush of smoke comes out and fills the entire space.

I requested them to do that inside the house as well, they did.

I danced pretending I was in clouds. (I remembered doing this as a young girl every time these guys came. )..the smoke soon disappeared.

After a couple of hours as I finished preparing dinner and sat to watch some netflix..I had intense burning sensation on my shoulder and it had turned an angry red… I showered again, wondering what was happening... As I sat again, my shoulder still burning.. suddenly I saw a couple of mosquitoes, fly away from the spot I was sitting. And then, the memory hit me..like a ton of bricks, and everything suddenly made sense….

As a young girl when, I saw these mosquito men come I used to run inside the house where I knew the mosquitoes sat huddled and shoo them away… because I knew the smoke would kill them…This day, today....as I invited the smoke gun guys, I forgot about the mosquitoes.

I must add that mosquitoes, ants never bite me, much to the annoyance of my son :) (as I sometimes leave the windows open in the evening).

This day the mosquitoes bit me, to remind me. And I realized how I had forgotten who I used to be… and I had to apologize, to them.

We are friends again now :). I left the window open they came in ..and this time didn't bite me :)

“Growing up is not the problem. Forgetting childhood is.” – Little Prince

Rhea

Touched

3 Days ago I ran out of bread for my crows..it was around 1 in the afternoon and I had just about 30 minutes before my next zoom call, and their feed time. So I quickly went down to our only Milk and bread store. I took two packets of bread and noticed a young man, maybe 27-28 yrs in blue demin and shirt could easily be a college student, guessing by the shoulder bag he had on his shoulders.He was waiting at a ‘safe distance “ I presumed for me to move aside before he came closer. I did .

He then moved a little close..still safe distance and asked , if could get bread and half litre milk for him… I have to admit, inside me I was a bit surprised, but I didn't let it show..I gave him one of the two loaves of bread I was holding and asked the shopkeeper to pack half a litre of milk.

The well-meaning shop owner asked the young man how was he going to have bread with raw milk..and that he should take lassi instead..the young man politely refused and said he just wanted half litre of milk..even as someone was packing the milk in a thin plastic bag, the shop owner again insisted with questions..about how was he going to make tea?? He should take lassi . the boy yet again said he just wanted half litre milk…

I was silently watching all this, I had to get back… but at this point I felt I had to intervene..and I told the shop owner that if the boy wanted milk to just give him milk…I quickly asked the boy if there was anything else he wanted. He refused. ..I thought it was done.

The half litre milk was now packed in a bag and kept on the counter in front of this young man.. But he just stood there without taking it..I wasn't sure what to do.. I looked at him..the milk..the shop owner and back to him… he looked at me .. the milk and back…(If it wasn't so quiet it would have been comical… it was like scene from some art movie) ..

I had already asked if he wanted anything else and he had said no..so I really didn't know what to do now.. The shop owner and his milk packing assistance were also now silent spectators of this ..suspense… I wasn't about to make any move..because I didn't know what the move was.

After a few minutes..the young man pointed to the milk bag and said to me..in english “why don't you give it to me..”… I was a little relived..a little surprised but then I thought it must be some kind of self-respect thing.. I felt good…proud even, of this person.. I picked the bag and kept it on his outstretched palm.. He didn't “hold” the bag..he just let it stay..so I could not let go of it either..

The young man then looked at me straight in the eye..and ..I swear his eyes had gone …still..and had changed… we were locked in that moment. He then said..in hindi….. in a very different voice from what I had heard so far, this voice was different.. more… distant and kind of old

He said ..” Brahmhand ne mujhe aur apko iis kshan me yahan bheja hai ..ke me apke ke haaton se ye amrit loon”…. Pause.. “ Appka hamesha bhala ho” . Translation : (the Universe has sent you and me in this moment, for me to accept this nectar with your hands….pause… may you always be blessed”…

And then, just like that, he turned and left…with his loaf of bread and half litre milk….

Leaving me feeling shocked .. expanded …touched ..in awe….
Like I had just had....... a conversation with god….

I could almost swear that afternoon there were more crows who came to have the bread…

God ..takes many forms…certainly !!!!

~ Rhea