In a class of my own

A day in a class of my own.

I went running today. It was cold and I felt it.

I noticed the baby green and pink leaf

And was reminded of the tenderness of the tree protecting it.

As I stopped to say hello to the little black moth that randomly came and sat on my shoe.. I caught myself feeling care and admiration for the little ones courage.

In that moment as I looked up The blue of the sky softly dropped into a slightly deeper shade.

I saw a crow feeding off a dead rat by the road side and wondered if some parts of the rat became the food that kept the crow alive, humm.. did the rat really die??

And I remembered the plant in a large diesel store a few weeks ago that managed to turn all its leaves to face the door from where the sunlight came in, in anticipation., celebration.. maybe?

I ‘found’ a t-shirt left for me on my bed , that no one got, just when I really wanted it..I found out later that a couple of years ago I had bought it and forgotten. And ‘magically’ it resurfaced just when I needed it. Silly me.

I smile to myself as I take a deep breath and look up and for the briefest moment see everything almost like its the first time.

I leave and walk ahead.. with a little bit of the tenderness, the fresh new feeling, the courage, the wonder of death, a dollop of feeling silly and full of gratitude, of ‘Magic’, the willingness to move towards what is of value…stuck to me like fairy dust.

If there was a way to see it I am sure I had patches of green blue red shimmery gold…. black stuck to me. I looked different. I felt different

I ask myself where is this true in my life. There was no meaning ‘hidden’ anywhere..it was all right there. contemplation was just seeing that this is what I was seeing.. Nothing deeper. Lighter was somehow a new level of deep. The rest of my day would have shades of this lens perhaps…

And so I was the cause and I was the effect. I attracted and created experiences . They are not happening to me. I participate fully like I have in the past and future. Why, I don’t often know. and so ..I ask - how is this my creation. And what has the future wiser 2.0 version of me created this for ?

Karma for me therefore if no longer Cause and effect. But being the cause in the matter… I feel like the universe must feel ..

As I turn back..homewards , I marvel at how much I can learn from me..when I don’t run away from me.When I am not afraid of me. When I don’t make it about the 1.6 me.

I am the teacher and I am the student. I can only learn about me from me.