An Ode to the Bolero.

(In celebration of the Amazing 7 days of StoryCrafting)

They started ..

almost like a flash-mob.

Random.. sudden

16 artists ..from all over the world ..

just came together

pulled by this deep soulful strain, that their hearts heard.

Each sitting as their own canvas.. shoes..pen.. cooking pot.. brush ..box..

Had reached ..a ..full-stop.

and waiting…

for Godot?? Was it?

Each knew, deep down.. that the dots continued..

But not in the same form..

The brush yearned for different strokes

The songs were screaming in the silences

The dried pen nibs, were bleeding

From Un-use…

And then the pen ..moved..

pushed. .pulled ..coaxed.. guided..

Tired of waiting…

Something’s got to give

The rasping.. scratching sound

when it finally started to move on the rough paper

was too much

It threatened to tear the page off..

Wherever it touched.

Sigh!! It had been too long

Both resisted..

the pen and the paper

they thought..

..each other.

But it was the distance music ..

that were drawn to and fighting against

The pen ..stopped ..many times

it was too much pressure…

nothing was coming …

Maybe everything is dried up..inside

He thought..

But he was still.. held somehow

Sometimes just the holding of the pen upright ..

makes the ink move

It helps to know some physics also, of course.

The pen.. wanted to give up ..many times..

He had memory of writing..drawing..

Being in the flow..

But he had begun to convince himself

That , that was somebody else ….

He ..he could not..

He was..JUST a pen.

And then slowly it started to happen..

A little drop of ink came on the paper..

The pen was a bit startled..

The red drop again the pristine white was ..stark.

It felt like his blood..and sweat all mixed

He drank in it…it was like an oasis..

He did not realise how thirsty he was..

And then as it got some energy,

he began to move

At first they were squiggly lines.. random motions

He would start ..stop.. start..move to a different spot of the page..

And yet.. courageously ..

vulnerably he stayed on the page

Looking at the mess..

Meaningless

And still..he stayed

Staying ..Still.

Listening to the music

And ever so slowly.. the random lines began to take shape and form..

and started to move

And the pen..

found its rhythm…

Words ..and pictures came out and filled the page..

He wrote …

About himself.. others.. the trees..mountains…stones… boxes..

and pinballs.. graves.. tables.. music.. tears.. donkeys

and fairies .. stories .. butterflies…

and angels.. and God.

He just wrote…

And the paper rejoiced…

Both could now hear the music more distinctly..

It was like a symphony..

In the moments..

The pen - the ink – the paper – the characters…

ALL became one..

The bolero..took a life of it own ..now

No one knew where one ended and the other began…

And as it ..slowly ebbed..

All the souls were soulified..

And ..in a Grand grateful gesture..

They all ..

Took the bow.

_ Rhea

The Story of Ohm

Yesterday was my birthday. And ritualistically I was doing some reflection on the year gone by and 2020 — THE year that went by ..and also the decade 2010–2020 gone by.

It has been a tumultuous journey and yet fulfilling in many ways. Towards the end it got too much… and I decided to paint. I would only go so far in my thinking. I needed a Canvas to see what else…was going on….inside me.

I did not have a canvas that I could use to paint on, at last minute..I looked around saw an elephant in the room, an older painting..literally..and pun intended….and decided to paint on it.( I might need to think about this later…)

I felt like doing a FLOW painting and see what it had to show.. not decide what I wanted … in a flow painting..the paint moves ..directed by movement of the canvas and pulled by it’s own nature …and along its journey..”creates” it’s own pattern….what comes out ..cannot be predicted ..all that is there in my hands..is the holding of the canvas and its movement…..and of course my self, and some “Om” chants that were playing in the background ..(could be other music also)

I poured the paint..imagining my internal conscious and unconscious thoughts and feelings pouring ..and then the movement started…as it kept moving up and down and circles…I found myself..looking for resistance so that the paint creates patterns ( if there is NO resistance it’s a pretty flat painting) ..all one sees is the paint…when there is resistance… the paint..breaks out into patterns.. in its effort to move …past, it brings out something inside of itself… as it navigates the coarse, sometimes uneven board…..and sometimes other colours.. and inconsistencies…and in this way no two paintings are ever the same..and no two blobs of the same paint are the same either… ..

ok…. Resistance ?? really…I was actually looking for it ??? …This made me ..literally stop in my tracks…and just like that ….I drifted to my engineering days …I used to be fascinated by the little “resistors”..with multicolour bands (I think that was the only colour in the otherwise grey…labs)…I remember playing with them as ‘bridges”. humm…they fascinated me even back then …but..why??? ..of-course one factor was the symbol Ohm (Ω). I loved saying it…It reminded me of a horseshoe always..and I loved writing it.

Pause ….

In doing what I was doing..what was I really doing?

And so my mind now wandered… and thought of the equation V=IR …the equation the BEAUTIFUL equation…

Voltage = Current X Resistance.

And Ohm’s Law

The relationship between current, voltage, and resistance, discovered by Georg Simon Ohm and published in his 1827 paper, The Galvanic Circuit Investigated Mathematically. And represented by the Greek letter (Ω). Omega.

Beautiful…..why?

First about Omega (O mega) — (O Great)

In modern Greek, the Omega letter is transcribed simply as o or ō. It also represents the value of 800 in the Greek numeric system, which literally means a great value or the “great O.” (O mega) . It also symbolizes something great or the end of an increment of great development, where this increment could be the universe, the planet, a country or even an individual. The Omega symbol, within this context, represents eternity and means God as an eternal beings. It is used in many different fields from religion to astrology, physics, chemistry, linguistics, computer science, mathematics and molecular biology.

And Now..

The relationship with Potential ..Flow…and … Resistance. (in case it misses out….there IS a relationship )

some basics ….

Current ( ‘I’) : The continuous movement of charge through a circuit is called Current, and it is often referred to in terms of “flow,”. (…haha the current is called the flow )

Voltage (“V” ) : The force motivating charge carriers to “flow” in a circuit is called voltage. Voltage is a specific measure of Potential energy that is always relative between two points.

Resistance (“R”): The measure of the opposition to the current flow in a circuit is called Resistance.

Voltage = Current multiplied by Resistance

Potential = Flow multiplied by Resistance = V = I x R

And So… … what does mean……. Simply..put

a. If either the I (flow) or R(resistance) became zero..The Potential become ZERO. …we need the resistance to NOT be zero

b. If the Potential remains same and resistance increases..the Flow reduces…we need to keep reassessing and releasing our potential

c. Resistance and Potential are directly proportional AND Flow and Potential are directly proportional.

d. Potential AND resistance are always relative between two points.

Potential to performance needs flow AND resistance. Managed in an Environment that is Conductive.

As a Leadership and org consultant. I often hear the words Potential of an individual, team or system and in the same breath the “resistance” referred to as a negative parameter. And efforts made to make it less.

The strategy of increasing the flow by reducing the resistance …essentially keeps the Potential LIMITED…..just saying (No wonder we are afraid to take risks and get outside the comfort zone )

We need to rethink Resistance..and see it for the value it brings in increasing potential and design for harnessing it. It may not be a mere coincidence it is denoted by Omega..The Great O.

If we pause to think of our own life…this DOES make sense..if it weren’t for all those resistances, my potential would not have been tapped deeper to create the flow. What’s is important is to keep recalibrating the Potential…and the resistance and …keep Current flowing.

Humm….. wonder if listening to Om had anything to do with all this…flow.

My 2020 Journey - A Birds eye view

Photo by Rhea

Some say I am bird brained, I take that as a compliment. :)I can also see why.

The beginning of this year, February 2020, Pigeons build their home in my balcony.. three cute yellow grey chicks came out…something very settling watching the mother sit all the time till they hatch..she become quite brave at these times..and I guess she needs to be to ward off the crows from coming closer…I must add these pigeons were very well behaved (unlike the reputation they seems to have. They never crossed the boundaries)

Our building was to be painted and, so a scaffolding was put up.Initially I was annoyed because it cramped the view of the sea a bit…but soon It was ok.

Because these bamboos now made it easier for the parrots to come in bunches and gorge on the sunflower seeds…….they seemed to like to be in groups.. Ofcourse the crows were a prominent permanent feature…I have a new found respect for their intelligence and empathy

This led to quite a few seeds dropping and giving birth to Sunflowers……and also some maize..the pigeons are also messy eaters……I was quite thrilled!but also unprepared..for what happened next.

Then came the sun birds for the sunflower I guess… and myna..and some butterflies and a couple of bees..

Oh and not to forget a Monkey who visited us a few times..and once came into the kitchen at night and from the fruit basked took only the bananas..not at all touched the other fruits that were kept in the same fruit basket..(I must keep this in mind when I go shopping)

And then last month an eagle (or technically a kite) started to visit my balcony…. I, of course don’t feed it but she started coming nevertheless…and then slowly came her mate… he is bigger..and so I know this one is a she.. I call her Tara. She came and sat.. and they have now chosen to build their nest above my kitchen balcony…interesting …from a Pigeon to an Eagle

Every morning they come .. clean their beaks.. eat..mate ..and then start to pull the ropes(that have kept the scaffolding up) to use as material for their nest….It’s beautiful and intriguing to watch them..the dedication and single mindedness with which they are doing it….I see when one brings the house building material the other brings some food items (I am not at all curious to find out what..because often it is moving, in a real, and not in a sentimental way.). They are powerful and graceful at the same time. I notice the crows come at them too..but they take no notice.

I remember a few years ago when I saw an eagle land on my balcony sill (different house) I was sacred..It was so big and so close…I was use to sparrows and pigeon only.

and now..this unfolding…..

I sit and reflect at how the scaffolding may not be needed anymore…and the ropes are slowly but surely getting undone.

Rhea

Nature Speak

Yesterday a crow came to my window sill..in the afternoon

And did its incessant cawing.. I was used to this ..’ they are building their nest above
my kitchen window..and I feel the female is pregnant..because her food routine ..and
likes- dislikes have changed..so. generally it’s an ask for food..or a complain about
the pigeons..

I pretend to ignore most days....

This time..somehow, its tone was different..it had a bit of shrill in it..and in more quick succession than usual..I found myself frowning…

Because of this..I got up to see what was up..

I saw it looking in a particular direction ..and stressfully screeching..

Crows ..although sometimes are annoying..I know are also..great protectors..and have
a very good “network” ..this crow call was being relayed..and other crows in other
building had also started to pickup this ..tone

So I tried to see what else was going on..

Following the line of vision of the crow..I saw there were 4-5 hawks circling..

This was also not an unusual sight....as there are two hawks generally in the area and
they ..are..’regulars’..generally peaceful co-existence..

This day these 4-5 were circling above a small ..forgotten playground inside our
building compound..I felt a bit of fear in my heart..

I felt compelled to go down to see what was going on..

As I approached the abandoned playground..a few cats..that had started to generally
hang around….were making all kinds of noises..and were running away from that spot..

Now something was really up..

The hair on the back of my neck stood up…

I cautiously went in the direction…a few days ago I saw a snake here..I though maybe
that was what was going on..

As I inched forward even as the hawks starts to screech…I saw ..almost camouflaged…
a peahen.. hurt and not really able to move… I had never seen a peahen so close..

She was big…and was whimpering..

I had heard peacocks a couple of days ago..but not seen..So I wrote off that feeling thinking..how can peacocks come here..It all now made sense.., the peacock must be
close-by..

I looked up…..there were more hawks now..and the crows had also gathered in more numbers making a noise.. warning… guarding…warding off… the hawks were about to
come in for the kill…

I had to act fast....

I quickly called our security people, and with their help picked her up and took her to
the gardener house..where she would be nursed till she could be on her own again…

The feeling of panic ...slowly subsided.. The cacophony had dropped many decibels..
and so I felt much better..safer, I realised my heart had been beating fast..

And I went home..shaken..grateful and .....also confused..

I reflected on a conflict that morning with someone over ..”words” and communication.
And how it was often so difficult to convey or understand what “words” meant” what
they intended to convey…and I for one feel quite inept at being able to find the right words..right tone..to say what I am feeling…

And yet, with this episode of birds ..communicating, looking out for each other..and
how ..one crow ..was not just one crow..it was an amazing unfolding ecosystem..if one followed it..and how no “words” were spoken but there was this ..undeniable
communication between us.. followed by action….and some resolution.

I am left amazed at the potential of deep intuitive listening and the inadequacy of
language as we know it. Also the importance of ..’listening to the whole ecosystem’ ..
not just one voice…

Sigh !!!!!!!

I am reminded of these lines from a hindi song from the movie Border..

Panchi chidiya pawan ke zhonke..koi sarahd na ..inhe rooke..
Socho tumne aur maine kya paya…insaan hoke.

(Translation)

These birds sparrows winds…no borders have ever stopped them
Just think. . what have you and I really achieved...by being Humans??

Dear god please make me a bird in my next life .

~ Rhea

Grief

Last week I read about an elephant who escaped a circus

and just rolled and played in the open snow near by

My heart broke..I cried. Thinking of what we have come to.

And just how simple acts of freedom are denied..everyday..unseen.

and how numb we have become.

What we don't see, we edit from our reality

What we edit from our reality, we don't talk to

What we don't talk to(not about), we don't understand

What we don't understand, we fear

What we fear, we avoid

What we avoid, we become immune to

What we become immune to

We destroy and kill..

Violence has many insidious forms.

Not having got attention

It dies.

A Silent death

But the screams can be felt by the soul.

As an acute sense of loss, a deep grief

A loneliness that is present at all times.

With the death of the last species of dragonfly

The world becomes silent by a flutter

And we shudder involuntarily.

When we see the fires burning a forest

Animals dying, people divided

Children not knowing what ‘safe’ means

We gulp the unshed tear...unconsciously.

And we release that

The silences we hold back, are reverberated outside

Some part of the pain, that fire, the death,

the fear, the helplessness, the grief

Belongs to us.

It’s time we own it, and give it voice.

As an ultimate act of taking responsibility.

And atleast attempt to pay some debt back to this Earth

Rhea

Little Prince

“When a mystery is too overpowering, one may not disobey.” - Little Prince 

Yesterday our building had the passage on each floor fumigated. They bring this white smoke gun and fire it everywhere...a strong gush of smoke comes out and fills the entire space.

I requested them to do that inside the house as well, they did.

I danced pretending I was in clouds. (I remembered doing this as a young girl every time these guys came. )..the smoke soon disappeared.

After a couple of hours as I finished preparing dinner and sat to watch some netflix..I had intense burning sensation on my shoulder and it had turned an angry red… I showered again, wondering what was happening... As I sat again, my shoulder still burning.. suddenly I saw a couple of mosquitoes, fly away from the spot I was sitting. And then, the memory hit me..like a ton of bricks, and everything suddenly made sense….

As a young girl when, I saw these mosquito men come I used to run inside the house where I knew the mosquitoes sat huddled and shoo them away… because I knew the smoke would kill them…This day, today....as I invited the smoke gun guys, I forgot about the mosquitoes.

I must add that mosquitoes, ants never bite me, much to the annoyance of my son :) (as I sometimes leave the windows open in the evening).

This day the mosquitoes bit me, to remind me. And I realized how I had forgotten who I used to be… and I had to apologize, to them.

We are friends again now :). I left the window open they came in ..and this time didn't bite me :)

“Growing up is not the problem. Forgetting childhood is.” – Little Prince

Rhea

Touched

3 Days ago I ran out of bread for my crows..it was around 1 in the afternoon and I had just about 30 minutes before my next zoom call, and their feed time. So I quickly went down to our only Milk and bread store. I took two packets of bread and noticed a young man, maybe 27-28 yrs in blue demin and shirt could easily be a college student, guessing by the shoulder bag he had on his shoulders.He was waiting at a ‘safe distance “ I presumed for me to move aside before he came closer. I did .

He then moved a little close..still safe distance and asked , if could get bread and half litre milk for him… I have to admit, inside me I was a bit surprised, but I didn't let it show..I gave him one of the two loaves of bread I was holding and asked the shopkeeper to pack half a litre of milk.

The well-meaning shop owner asked the young man how was he going to have bread with raw milk..and that he should take lassi instead..the young man politely refused and said he just wanted half litre of milk..even as someone was packing the milk in a thin plastic bag, the shop owner again insisted with questions..about how was he going to make tea?? He should take lassi . the boy yet again said he just wanted half litre milk…

I was silently watching all this, I had to get back… but at this point I felt I had to intervene..and I told the shop owner that if the boy wanted milk to just give him milk…I quickly asked the boy if there was anything else he wanted. He refused. ..I thought it was done.

The half litre milk was now packed in a bag and kept on the counter in front of this young man.. But he just stood there without taking it..I wasn't sure what to do.. I looked at him..the milk..the shop owner and back to him… he looked at me .. the milk and back…(If it wasn't so quiet it would have been comical… it was like scene from some art movie) ..

I had already asked if he wanted anything else and he had said no..so I really didn't know what to do now.. The shop owner and his milk packing assistance were also now silent spectators of this ..suspense… I wasn't about to make any move..because I didn't know what the move was.

After a few minutes..the young man pointed to the milk bag and said to me..in english “why don't you give it to me..”… I was a little relived..a little surprised but then I thought it must be some kind of self-respect thing.. I felt good…proud even, of this person.. I picked the bag and kept it on his outstretched palm.. He didn't “hold” the bag..he just let it stay..so I could not let go of it either..

The young man then looked at me straight in the eye..and ..I swear his eyes had gone …still..and had changed… we were locked in that moment. He then said..in hindi….. in a very different voice from what I had heard so far, this voice was different.. more… distant and kind of old

He said ..” Brahmhand ne mujhe aur apko iis kshan me yahan bheja hai ..ke me apke ke haaton se ye amrit loon”…. Pause.. “ Appka hamesha bhala ho” . Translation : (the Universe has sent you and me in this moment, for me to accept this nectar with your hands….pause… may you always be blessed”…

And then, just like that, he turned and left…with his loaf of bread and half litre milk….

Leaving me feeling shocked .. expanded …touched ..in awe….
Like I had just had....... a conversation with god….

I could almost swear that afternoon there were more crows who came to have the bread…

God ..takes many forms…certainly !!!!

~ Rhea