Always

There were shadows
and it was ok.
There was light
and it was ok.

There were silences

which froze in midair..

And words that stuck to

the inside of my mouth

And it was ok.

There was innocence

and It meandered

And there was fear

and It was shy

And it was ok.

A part of my soul

wants to ride the milky way

And the other just wants to

sit in the folds of my jasmine flower

And its Ok.

In the still 

boundary less Universe

With no beginning 

and no End

Everything

Is OK.

~ Rhea

Rendevous

Tears rushing

Hair tumbling

Heart racing

Cheeks burning

Blood pounding in my ears

Or was it the sea?

The wind stinging

My flushed face

Hot.

My feet kissing the ground

Fleetingly

Reminding…

My breath

Caught in my throat

Coming through a sponge of

Realizations

The Smile

that I can’t stop.

From my moist eyes.

I didn’t see this coming..

Everything else

The past .. The future

A blur

Not away  from

Not towards

I run into my arms

Joyfully.

Oh!!! I have missed you.

~ Rhea

Held

Oh it’s that time of the year
Is it the only time of the year?
When you think of me cry
Go to my grave and sigh

Do not stand by my grave
Those precious tears, save
I am not there,
I am everywhere.

I was about to say , “I told you”
But right now…
I will just hold you..

I am the new brave pink leaf
I am the Soil that smells sweet with the first rain
I am the big rabbit from your dreams
I am the dancing shadow on the wall

I am that pause, when you are undecided
I am the signs when you feel guided

I am the skip in your walk
I am the breath in your hugs

I am the conversation
That lets you come undone

I am you , sometimes
in the mirror
and sometimes
I am the voice in your head

I am the search
That lets you stretch your imagination

I am the tears in your heart
Where the world hurts

I am also your laughter.
Where the world celebrates

Know that I am ..
Always.

Because You are.
Always

Remember
Life is only a series of new beginnings..

Rhea

Coming Home

A bit musty

The air
Familiar yet
new somehow

The footprints show

the amount of dust

Settled around the steps

I had taken

I hear sounds 

amidst the silences

I look in the direction

Memories

Keep flirting with time

I smile

I don’t sigh

I am amused

Some things I had

meticulously covered

To keep them safe.

The mirror was one of them

I pull down the drape

Blue with tiny white flowers

I expect to see the same mirror

It isn’t.

I smile

Tentatively at first

As the dust starts settling

I don’t flinch

I shake the drape even more

Imagining the white flowers

come off the sheet and fly

Throwing caution to the wind

I turn my head up

This feels like stardust…

Pieces of me are settling down

I have come home.

Rhea 

Be Present

With

Eyes full of soft longing..
yet
voice hard

With the effort to stop the quiver

Heart full of gentle poetry

Yet

Head pulled a little higher..

with doubt

Arms that reach out to hold

Yet

At the end of their journey

Push away

The song that keeps playing

In the background

Yet

The silences

In the conversation

I can see you.

Your soul is transparent.

Breathe.

You have held the breath too long….

This might be the best part of that song.

Open.

Don’t settle for less

Never mind the mess

Trust.

Your worst fears are behind you

Everything you have ever lost

Is waiting for you

To be present.

 Rhea

Fragile

I held some dew drops

On a green leaf
Delicately in my palm

Awestruck

Breathtaking

Beautiful

Fragile

Balancing I walked

Tried to keep them

from falling  

Spilling

Dropping

Till,

They evaporated.

I have memories

Of seeing the world in them.

Humbled by the  

Fragile and Ephemeral nature

of what we hold

....

and of the one who holds it.

Rhea 

Experience Design

Positive Behaviour Modification is a Matter of thoughtful design.

Behaviour modification fundamentally means making someone do something that they are not habituated to doing.

For years this has been attempted through various means – starting from  childhood,  school -in professional domain, in a society in relationships.

From the simple Carrot & stick, soft bribe, cajole to the more complex auto suggestion, ridicule, threat and  even physical violence, different methods have been used.

While all these may have worked to whatever extent, and there is no judgment about good or bad , here,  just from an objective view, do behaviours change – long term?

Before we begin any attempt to shift behaviours

Two questions to ask:

1. Is it Love based or Fear based:

            Which means the “experience” of this modification does it make the individual feel good and happy about himself? Or does it make him feel bad and guilty. There is enough research about how Oxytocin,  popularly know as the love hormone, is associated with boosting trust and Empathy – and makes you want to do the action even more.

On the other hand – fear pushes Cortisol hormone which pushes the body in a fight/flight mode, an indicator os stress and does not want to make you do something’s unless you have to . It  creates unpleasant and unhappy feeling . 

2. Is it Intrinsic :

Do they Want to or do they Have to  - Which means does it come from “Inside” – voluntarily from a Happy place – because this will then ensure repeatability and eventually create a habit. And, more importantly -  does the Individual fundamentally change as a human being in doing that action.

The Shift :

A Simple Mental Model to adopt while thinking about a solution is that:

Human Beings fundamentally want to contribute – They just don’t know how.

Experience Design can play a big role in Capitalising this perspective and building the experience around it. Irrespective of what the behaviour shift is.

3  Steps to Behaviour modification  through Experience Design:

 1. No Sermon

There is NO moral imperative attached – Most people KNOW what is good and bad, right and wrong – so you are not adding to anything – except – guilt. Because this ends up making people feel  wrong- small and bad. How can you do Good when you are feeling Bad?. I know this from experience, I have an 18yr. old son.

2. Link

Undesired behaviour “linked” through experience design into  positive impact. Create a correlation between  how a  single act of theirs is Creating an Impact, a positive one on the world outside – no matter how small. It's the classic Star fish story.

(In the attached Video the undesired: behaviour of using plastic bottles, and littering - Positive impact – feeding a dog)

3.Make it Visible

Often people are numbed to feedback loops – positive or negative – They feel their behaviour only, at the most impacts them. And if they can live with the cost – It’s OK. If the distance between action and their positive impact is shortened  AND made visible. – if people can literally SEE how their small actions can actually create contribution  - they are intrinsically motivated to DO that behaviour more – because we are hardwired for “giving” and wanting to make a difference.

Use of Plastic Bottles – Littering

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8WxtuhiaJY

Donating for a child

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgUFUNguGeI

UP Syndrome.

UP Syndrome.

We seem to be  society that is ‘afflicted’ by the UP Syndrome.

Have you ever noticed how we are almost obsessed with the word UP?

The graphs...productions.. career... growth.. productivity... always goes UP. Things need to look UP to be better… we have to grow UP … Move UP …Hold UP… Show UP.. Take UP ….even when we pray ..we look UP ..

2 weeks ago I was with a friend in Singapore who “accidentally” got called to work with children with Down Syndrome, and she was wondering what might be the purpose of this happening since she has no background in this kind of work.

Many years ago when I worked with NASEOH (National Society for Equal Opportunities for the Handicapped), an organization that works for providing equal opportunities for people who are differently abled. I had also worked with Down kids, and still remember the sheer joy of authentic honest uninhibited and  innocent conversations. And, what it brought out in me. I was a hard core Sales person  working in the highly competitive IT sector, and didn’t think too much of “soft stuff”

One of my most memorable conversations was with a young girl, Smita, 17 yrs. who would watch me for a few days from a distance. When I went to talk to her, she just got up walked away saying ‘I don’t feel like talking right now’.. no pretense..

A few days later I approached her again, she was fascinated by my dangling earrings. I removed and offered them to her, she took them without too much ado and wore them happily beaming and .. just got up and went away.. leaving me  a little perplexed.

A few week later, when I was sitting and working,  Smita walked up to me quietly…and tentatively kept her hand on my shoulder ..I turned, she was a tall girl and I had to look up. She stood there just looking at me ..I didn’t know how to respond.. so, I kept silent and didn’t attempt to do anything.

After what seemed like a few minutes… she smiled and said ..”Ab tum meri dost ho” – “Now, you are my friend”  - a declaration which filled me with so much pride…and feeing of acceptance. These feelings also made me realize how much I had wanted this.

I asked her, if until then, was I not her friend? Without a moment of hesitation she said NO. I was silent. She said she was ‘testing’ me… I said I didn’t understand what that meant. She said, she wanted to be sure I meant to treat her as an equal. I must admit, I was surprised, to hear her say those things…. She suddenly hugged me smiled and left..

I sat there thinking about how much this meant to her and me…the trust with which she touched me was so honest … that I remember it in my body.

And I could not help but wonder how many times have I been touched by such honesty in the “Normal” world. Such acceptance.. simplicity…and openness.

And ‘they’ have a Down syndrome.

Maybe be we have got it upside down…

How about if we stop and  Look at the world from that perspective. Most of the beautiful things are come down.. the rain comes down…the fruit falls down…river rushes down… when we show respect we bow down.. we fall in love.. when we feel  tender we look down…when we pray we do down …we meditate ..we slow down….

How about adopting a Down Syndrome?

Maybe ..we can also get to experience the Authenticity… The honesty.. The Simplicity.. The faith .. The Unconditional Love .. The joy of sharing and caring??

Studies have also shown, when around a Down Syndrome person, people become more patient.. loving.. slowed down.. empathetic.. and a few companies who have made it a policy to employ some Down Syndrome  employees have reported the overall stress levels gone down, teams becoming more close knit and over all atmosphere of Collaboration and looking out for each other.

And the “Graphs” by the way went up J

Just thinking of it makes me smile on the inside...

The Empty Boat

"When there is no way out...it's time to go in '~ Rhea

One of practices for the last 2 years has been this story... and through this I have been able to take baby steps on two paths :

1. To Integrate different parts of me and disintegrate the illusion of 'they'

2. Be compassionate

so here goes...

The Empty Boat :

One of the greatest of Zen masters, Lin Chi, used to say, "While I was young I was very fascinated by boating. I had one small boat, and I would go on the lake alone. For hours together I would remain there.

"Once it happened that with closed eyes I was in my boat meditating on the beautiful night. One empty boat came floating downstream and struck my boat. My eyes were closed, so I thought, `Someone is here with his boat, and he has struck my boat.' Anger arose.

I opened my eyes and I was just going to say something to that man in anger, then I realised that the boat was empty. Then there was no way to move. To whom could I express the anger? The boat was empty. It was just floating downstream, and it had come and struck my boat. So there was nothing to do. There was no possibility to project the anger on an empty boat."

So Lin Chi said, "I closed my eyes. The anger was there, but finding no way out, I closed my eyes and just floated backward with the anger. And that empty boat became my realisation. I came to a point within myself in that silent night. 

That empty boat was my master. And now if someone comes and insults me, I laugh and I say, `This boat is also empty.' I close my eyes and I go within."

Here is the link to the book by Osho, with this story

http://www.oshorajneesh.com/download/osho-books/responses_to_questions/The_Empty_Boat.pdf